Ahimoth breathed as he sat back on his couch. His pink eyes looked in a small, worn leather bound book. Within the pages of it were memories, good and bad, sort of like a diary, but Ahimoth would scoff and say it's a personal collection. Ahimoth opened it to a page, looking at the date listed there.

Three Years Ago: Crushed

I sat in the chair in our apartment, my nerves were shot, my leg kept bouncing on the floor. My teeth gritted, my hands were clenched so tightly that my knuckles started to turn white. It was getting late, almost sunset in Rivertide. I groaned and rolled my head back, eyes staring up at the ceiling. My heart beat so loud, I could hear it in my ears.

Where was he? What was he doing? He's supposed to be home by now. Did something happen? Maybe I should call him?

Those thoughts repeated in my head, like a record, spinning on repeat. It didn't help my anxiety, not a single bit. My head snapped open, I heard keys finally jingle. Opening the door is my boyfriend, my childhood friend, my everything. I stood up so quickly the chair banged against the floor. I rushed to his side in mild panic, wanting to check and see if he was okay.

"Don't worry about it," he laughed off, pushing my hands from his face. "I've been wanting to talk to you."

Alcohol filtered on his breath, but I did step back and looked at him. I always feared he'd grow bored of us one day. We have been dating since fifteen and never had an argument yet.

"What is it?" I asked, turning to get a bottle of water to drink. "Food is on the table, if you wanna eat."

I giggled as arms wrapped around me, calming my racing heart and I relaxed in his arms.

Nothing could ever go wrong. He would protect me. He would love me. This is how I want it to stay forever.

My train of thought was interrupted when he spoke again, whispering into my ear.

"D'ya mind if we have an open relationship?"

The question threw me completely for a loop. My mind spiraled, assumptions formed, worry penetrated me completely. I looked at him frantically, pushing him from me.

"W-what? Of course I mind! I'm not into that!"

My words seemed to have offended him, which was good because I was feeling hurt. The look on his face twisted to anger. I was shouted at. So I shouted back. Blood rushed to my face, I got louder as he did. Our screaming was surely heard in the apartments over.

How could he ask that? How could he betray me like that? What even brought on this thought? He was getting bored wasn't he?

My anger had hot tears cascading down my face, my heart couldn't beat any louder or faster even. Frantic, I sniffled finally, my voice cracked, but I managed to squeak.

"Why did you even bring this up!"

"Because I already did!"

That response broke me, I lost all composure I had. From balling to raging anger, from yelling to sobbing to both. He cheated on me, how long has he been cheating on me? Was it with just one guy?

"How many!"

"One, dumbass. It's not that big a deal, he was hot."

Our argument divulged into me punching him in the face, more his cheek, and him doing the same. He left the apartment, I assumed he wanted to cool down. That was the first time we physically hurt one another. I sat on the couch, processing all I was feeling. All the emotions that warped and mixed together, crashing against me like a violent tide.

I came to the conclusion, it's hard to trust anyone, no matter how long you've known them. Getting stabbed repeatedly by a sharp non-existent dagger in your heart fucking hurts.

PRESENT

Ahimoth closed the journal, and he closed his eyes with a heavy sigh. Ahimoth thought he was over the pain that happened that day. His tears slipped down his face, onto the journal, he took a shaky breath.

"A lesson well learned," Ahimoth bitterly muttered.

If it wasn't for that night, that he was crushed, that his life would never be perfect, he wouldn't be how he was. He was wary of strangers, nervous about getting into a relationship again.

But most importantly, that night is when he became fused with his elemental Nera, and though he's hateful due to how it happened. He's grateful that it happened.